And You Thought It Could Only Happen To Johnny
by mcatB
Summary: Johnny finds he's not the only one that gets into trouble


Roy entered the locker room. He found Johnny already dressed in uniform, giving Smokey a quick nod before closing his locker. 

"So, how'd the overtime at 23 go yesterday?" Roy asked. 

"Pretty good. It helped that the Dougs were working," Johnny replied. 

"I thought you were taking over for Dougie?" Roy said, surprised. 

"I was supposed to. But then Dougie had to cancel his vacation plans," Johnny replied. 

"So, who'd you work for?" Roy asked, getting his own uniform on, now. 

"Tommy Francis called in sick. Since I was slated for the overtime anyway, they let me take his spot on the engine," Johnny responded. 

"Why'd Dougie cancel his vacation?" Roy asked, curious, tying his shoes. 

"He and Judy need the money to fix their bathroom. A couple of pipes broke over the weekend," Johnny replied, starting to laugh. 

"What's so funny?" Roy asked, confused why broken pipes could be funny. "Wait a minute," Roy added, realization coming to him. "What did Dougie do this time?" 

By now Johnny was ready to roll on the floor with laughter. 

"Let's just say that Dougie has a new nickname," Johnny responded, his tone encouraging Roy to ask for more information. 

"Spill it," Roy demanded as they walked toward the kitchen. 

"Solderhead," Johnny said. 

"Solderhead?" Roy asked. 

Johnny nodded, laughing still. 

"He was apparently trying to solder a leaky joint in the pipe when he got an itch on his head," Johnny started. 

"No!" Roy interjected, laughing along with Johnny, now. 

"Yup! He reached up and scratched it while he still had the soldering iron in his hand," Johnny replied. "The solder stuck to his head and burned it, then when he peeled it off, it started bleeding." 

"Isn't he ever going to learn?" Roy asked, shaking his head. 

"What, about doing stupid things or being stupid enough to tell his shift mates about it?" Johnny asked, pouring a cup of coffee. 

"Both!" Roy responded, sipping his own. 

It turned out to be one of those days. They responded to a call for a woman having abdominal pain around 9:00 AM. It turned out that she was in labor. She didn't even know she was pregnant. Around 11:30 AM, they had to rescue a man from a tire swing at the playground. He had wedged himself into it, but then got stuck. At 12:45 PM they had to assist the police department with one of their DWI arrests, because the guy was so drunk that he could barely stand up, and in fact fell down and cut his lip. The guy tried to take a swing at Johnny when Johnny tried to help him. Then he wound up threatening Johnny, telling him that he was going to kill him, and that he could, because he'd "been dead before." Johnny wasn't sure if he should laugh or be scared. 

And now it was 3:00 PM and they were being sent on an "unknown rescue" call to a grocery store. 

"I hate these 'unknown' calls" Johnny complained to Roy, as they headed down the freeway. "Here's your exit," he gestured. 

Roy sighed, knowing it could be anything from a 90 year old woman with a flat tire to a man in a lion cage. Well, maybe not a lion cage. They were heading to a grocery store for an unknown rescue. Wouldn't that be a funny sight he thought to himself. A lion in the middle of the grocery store. He chuckled to himself. 

"What's so funny?" Johnny asked. 

"Oh, just thinking of a lion in the grocery store," Roy said, while still laughing. 

"Wha-…huh? Lion?" Johnny stuttered, looking confused. 

Roy continued laughing. He'd thrown himself into a fit of giggles and couldn't get the image of a lion in the grocery store and Johnny's dumbfounded look out of his mind. 

"Here we go," Johnny said as they pulled into the parking lot. 

A large crowd had gathered outside of the store. Several people came running toward the squad. 

"Hurry! You are NEVER going to believe this," a middle aged man said, with disbelief on his face. 

Roy looked at Johnny as he said, "There's not a lion in there is there mister?" 

"Huh???" 

"Never mind. Sir... Show us the way," Roy said, starting to walk toward the store. 

As they made their way through the crowd, they observed people standing on their toes, trying to get a glimpse in the window. Hushed whispers began all around as the crowd parted to let the paramedics through. Johnny crashed through the door first and came to a sudden stop. Roy was so close on his heels that he managed to bump into the back of him. Both men stood with their mouths open in surprise. They couldn't really believe what they were seeing. A full-grown male lion was lying on top of a man in the middle of the grocery store. There was a woman tugging at its leash. 

"Come on Max, get off the nice man," she was saying, pulling at the leash, trying to coax the lion off the man. 

Then they heard the familiar laughter. They looked over to see Doug Bedoski sitting on a checkout counter, laughing his ass off. Then they saw who was under the lion. Dougie Parsons lay there, paralyzed with fear as the lion licked his face. 

"Doug? What's going on?" Roy ventured. 

"Only Dougie," he said, shaking his head, wiping away the tears of his laughter. "We stop by here to buy some groceries – it's our turn to make dinner at the station tonight – and my illustrious partner here, decides to make friends with the nice lady and her pet lion." 

They looked over at the woman and the lion again. She was gently tugging on the leash, still trying to get the beast up. 

"I'm so sorry," she apologized to Dougie. "He's usually so shy around people. We were on our way next door to do some publicity photos – he's a stunt lion, you know – and I remembered that I needed to get some treats. I just don't know what got into him," she added, exasperated, tugging at the leash again. 

"Dougie? You okay?" Johnny asked. 

"Oh, yeah. Fine," he replied lightly, though his fear showed quite clearly in his eyes. 

"Oh, don't worry. Max won't hurt you," the woman soothed. "He likes you. That's why he's kissing you," she added sweetly. 

"Wonderful," Dougie muttered. 

"You know, Dougie, we're not going to know what to call you – Solderhead or Lionboy!" Doug razzed. 

By now Roy and Johnny were starting to laugh right along with Doug. 

"I've got it! I'll be right back!" the woman exclaimed, handing Johnny the leash and dashing out of the store. 

Johnny stood there, dumbfounded, looking at the leash, the lion, the leash and the door. 

"Dougie? What did you do to make the lion lay on top of you?" Johnny asked. 

"I held the leash for the lady, while she went to her car," Dougie replied, a mischievous smile coming to his face as the lion suddenly got off of him. 

"Um…Uh, Roy?" Johnny called, panic starting to enter his voice. "Roy? You wanna hold this a minute?" he asked, offering the leash to Roy. 

"No way, Junior," Roy replied, backing away as the lion approached Johnny's backtracking form. 

"ROY!!!!!" 

__

Hope you had fun! Thanks Tangee for the challenge! I'd gotten a lot of positive feedback about "the Dougs" and thought this was a good one for them. And just so you know, the "solderhead" story is true! One we don't let Dougie forget. And another true part is that I actually did have a DWI arrest in which the guy threatened me and said, "You know, I've been dead before!" (A REAL fun drunk, he was). 


End file.
